How many times have you had someone respond negatively to something that you have said and you still are not sure why? Have you ever wanted to buy something, but when signing on the dotted line, there was a change? How about a significant other irritated from something you have said that was taken in a totally different context?
The reason is because most of us get this concept of communication wrong when we speak. Every relationship needs clear and effective communication. Dale Carnegie wrote about this topic extensively and even created a training based on it taught at large corporations to aid in effective communication.
When I have failed to communicate expectations, or parameters to those I am about to have an experience with, things ultimately go off the rails. Someone gets upset, someone ends up sleeping on the couch, or worse someone could start building a wall between the other person that is hard to take back down.
I have many stories about poor communication, but the one I want to share today is recent.
I have wanted a ski boat since I could drive a car. I have been searching all this year for a ski boat and this a couple weekends ago we test drove and put in an offer on a used ski boat. My wife even felt good about purchasing it. When the wife who could really care less about a ski boat is on board, it’s time to buy!
The person selling the ski boat was absolutely horrible in communicating unfortunately. I called him back after my wife and I talked and offered our price. It was a fair price and he said he had to talk to his brother who was part owner of the ski boat (new revelation red flag number 1) to discuss and that he would call me back quickly. Five hours later I got a text asking me if I could go up by $250. I immediately asked if I could talk to him on the phone to understand why they were asking for this extra $250.
When I finally got the seller on the phone, he stated they wanted to get $250 more and that was it. I stated there were some updates that I would have to do and thought our price was fair. He stated that he would call me right back. The next morning, I had an errand to run and reached out as the seller never responded (red flag number two). An hour went buy and then he texted that he was going to have someone else look at the boat that offered sight unseen $250 more.
I stated that I would raise the price if that was the case and that I would first need to see the trailer as he never allowed me to see it prior. The response was, “well I am out for a jog and I’ll call you later.” I tried calling and was sitting in the parking lot of the bank ready to get a cashier’s check for the ski boat. No response (red flag number 3). I waited about thirty minutes, and then started driving back to my in-laws house. An hour later I received a text that the other person was on their way to look at the ski boat. Frustrated, I told the seller that I hoped he sold the boat, but was no longer interested.
Had the individual utilized effective communication and informed me why the night before the reason why the $250 was requested, I may have been willing to raise the price then and maybe seal the deal. All I can assume now is that the seller was trying to play people against each other to inflate the price which is okay, but not how I do business. See the lack of trust there? I am able to see the red flags that should have keyed me into how this person functioned with communication and selling.
If you were in my position, how would you react?
Now think about that if you are in sales, or some kind of leadership position. If communication breaks down, people get frustrated, and it is extremely difficult to regain a relationship in this fast paced environment. There are other options out there for people to purchase, or organizations to work for. Even as the economy had dipped, it is recovering almost as fast. Organizations are back hiring more employees again.
If we want to grow our relationships, we need to focus on effective communication.
More on how to communicate effectively in the future, but for now I recommend Dale Carnegie’s book “How to win friends and influence people.” It’s a great resource for learning how to communicate effectively especially when are forced to be remote in our working conditions.
It will help greatly with all your relationships.
Have a great day!
Sincerely,
Kevin Sidebottom
“Businesses wonder why the majority of their sales teams struggle at winning profitable business. I teach your sales team to walk with the customer through the five buying decisions, and in the correct order to generate more sales with high margins!”