Good morning everyone,
I hope you are enjoying your morning and relaxing from the grind of the business week. I also want to thank you for taking the time to walk with me on my blogs. I enjoy helping others as well as talking about areas that I am developing in. If you have suggestions on areas that you are struggling with or would like to challenge some of my thoughts by all means reach out or comment on the blogs and lets discuss. I am glad to help.
I recently was a part of a group that was able to work on a workshop of conflict modes. Being that I like learning and growing I found this interesting. Mainly due to the fact that when we deal with groups of people there usually is some kind of disagreement in business decisions, as well as others that want their ideas heard.
The workshop that I was a part of dealt with the five conflict handling modes that Thoms – Kilman has an instrument for calculating yours. After I took the question assessment from Thomas Kilman I quickly learned that my main conflict mode that I fall into is a collaborator followed up by competing, then compromising, avoiding, and last accommodating. This makes sense as whenever I have launched a project with groups of people I am always searching for others input to make sure everyone feels heard. This is great if you have time to work together although if we were in a building fire and in a basement, I am not sure collaborating would be the best options. I think we would all want to get to safety and as soon as possible.
This workshop gave me insight when dealing with others on how to identify their conflict modes and how to work with them to the best outcome possible. It was great to learn about each conflict mode. It also helped me to identify if I am overusing a conflict mode in a discussion. If I were to use the competing conflict mode when in a discussion with my wife she may feel slighted and disengage with me by avoiding the discussion.
The major key to this workshop was the fact that when you identify which mode you and those you are in conflict are in, you can then understand if they are working toward cooperativeness or not. Knowing how cooperative they are will allow you to understand if you can work to come to a solution quicker. If not you may have to punt for a short time and come back together later. There is also an assertiveness scale that follows the modes which helps you identify how pointed the discussion could get.
Each conflict handling mode has its pluses and minuses associated with them. Understanding them well allow you to know how to work more efficient.
Have you ever been in a conflict that went south quick and tension was so great that it was just awkward being in the same room with the person? I know I have. To which point I usually use humor if I can to see if I can get the mood to lighten a bit. If not, then it is time to just walk away and come back. I have also made jokes that ended up blowing up the situation at times. I warn that unless you know the person really well not to use humor. It can end up blowing up in your face. I have made many of these mistakes in the past. I haven’t had a great conflict in the past few days to try out the new approach. I’ll try not to pick a fight with my wife just to see either. I do believe that saying “Happy wife, happy life” 😊
I am also working through some studies on emotional intelligence that will also aid in working through conflicts with customers, coworkers, and family. After I learn this I may work to include it in my keynotes and training. We’ll have to see how it grows.
I recommend learning about the conflict handling modes so that you get a better understanding of when stress gets high in situations how you and those around you are functioning. It will help to resolve the situation quickly and move forward together towards a solution. Let’s be honest that no one really wants to be in conflict with others. It is draining strategizing on how to win an argument or how you will get the other side to the table.
I hope that is enough for now to get you interested in the topic. Please leave feedback if you’d like to know more about this topic, or if you have some more insight on it as well. All comments are welcome.
Well have a great weekend, now it is off to negotiate with my wife if it is time for us to eat healthy this morning or if I can negotiate for pancakes 😊
Sincerely,
Kevin Sidebottom
Sales and Leadership Enterprises