Christmas is here! This is the time of year where we are giving presents away to others and enjoying quality time with family and friends. Ever stop to think why we find more joy at this time of year than any other?
In the book Well Being from Gallop who do studies on people for just about everything, they write about how spending and focusing on others actually makes our mood better. That’s why we need to really think about our intentions when we are interacting with others.
If we are in a bad mood, are we just trying to bring others down, or are we trying to help them? Are we trying to build better relationships, or just help ourselves get to a better place? What is the motivator here? Are we being selfish, or are we being giving?
Ever wonder why some people just don’t trust us? No matter what we do, it just seems like they will not accept us as being honest and worthy of trust?
There are so many areas that can derail trust, but today I want to focus on one huge variable in building trust that most people have a blind spot to.
The main variable in trust that derails most people is Selfishness. That’s right, the level of selfishness that is in us determines how much others will trust us. If our actions in working with people is only to accomplish what we want to achieve and not caring about others then we will not get gain trust. Selfishness is the largest factor of trust.
We all have difficult people in our lives. We are all selfish to a degree. Just look at a toddler and how they play with others with the same toys. They don’t share. They want all the toys. We have our wants and dreams and we want to achieve them and that is okay. The issue is when we want others to help us achieve those wants and dreams and not care about helping them as well. We forget that others need help as well when we are in that selfish frame of mind.
Zig Ziglar has a quote that states, “You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help enough other people get what they want.” Simply said, stop thinking about ourselves first and start looking to others on how we can help. Whether that is communicating effectively, lending a hand, or just listening to someone else we need to be focused on helping others. It’s just like farming. Planting one seed doesn’t net a huge crop, but planting millions of seeds, the harvest is plentiful.
That’s right if we truly want to others to trust us enough to help us, then we have to change our focus from one of receiving, to one of giving. We also need to do this for the right reasons.
We can be the most competent, consistent, vulnerable, people out there, but if we are only out for our own gain, well it will be an uphill battle to build trust. We must check out selfishness.
This Christmas when we are engaging others and attending Christmas parties stop and think about why we are engaging others. Look at our moods when we are exchanging gifts. Are we happier when we give or when we receive? Chances are when we watch other’s eyes light up with joy when they open that thoughtful gift we searched for we have that extra kick of energy and a larger smile.
Who is someone that you could build more trust with by changing the view from what can I get to how can I give this Christmas? It will help you build trust in the long term.
Merry Christmas!
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https://www.amazon.com/Sales-Process-Uncovered-Success-Influence/dp/0578421518 - Book
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https://kevinsidebottom.kartra.com/page/68N10 - Trustworthy Online Training