Today let’s talk about the most important variable in building trust with others.
Over the past few weeks, we have been walking through the trust equation explaining three other variables in building trust. If you have not read them, I highly recommend you go back through and read the past three weeks. It will likely take less than ten or so minutes, but will help you understand the variables that affect trust.
Today we focus on the denominator of the fraction on building trust and the variable is Selfishness. We have seen politicians, CEO’s, and sales professionals all brag about how they did something great and how they deserve all the credit. Unfortunately, anything worth doing takes a great deal of effort and typically takes support of others. We need to make sure we are not killing trust with selfish gain.
When I created the trust equation it was to make it easy for people to see the basics of building trust. You can be very creditable, reliable, and vulnerable, but if we are only doing this to help ourselves “WIN” we actually “LOSE.” We will not be able to gain trust and sustain it if we are only out for our own gain. If we are selfish and only doing things to be able to leverage in another instance, we will soon erode trust. People will see it especially if we are doing this over and over again. True we may be able to hide our selfishness for a little while, but trust is really a long-term plan. People will figure us out, as selfishness is like a spotlight shining bright into the night sky.
Selfishness tells people that we do not value them and do not care about them. Who wants to trust someone like that? Have you ever been around someone that you tried to give more and more trust and it just seemed to blow up in your face each and every time? It is really hard to keep wanting to extend them the benefit of doubt. After a while, trust in that person is just not an option.
By being selfish we can quickly turn relationships sour. In sales or leadership if this happens, we start losing our influence, which is the key ingredient to business success. Without trust there is no influence. We may think that if we have leverage over others we can influence them, but I challenge that thought because once that leverage is gone there is no more influence. There have been stories in business where boards have thrown the CEO out of the organization overnight. Even Steve Jobs was asked to step down at one point at Apple.
I am constantly taking inventory in my life to gauge how selfish I am being. I’m sure I fail to live up to my standard, but my focus is on not being selfish and trying to help everyone that I can. I put my expertise out there to help others gain knowledge. I do not do it so I can say, see what I have done, but to share so that people can avoid mistakes that I have run in to. My goal is to help others become more efficient and successful especially with areas of sales and influence.
The key is to really take an inventory of our relationships and see if there are any areas where we are being selfish. Are there some relationships that we have been one sided on? Have we made any recent mistakes that an apology will help start the road back to building trust? Selfishness can be fixed when we take an honest look at how we have behaving with others.
If we want to have a greater trust level, then our selfishness must be put in check.
Just remember what our math teachers taught us. It does not matter how large the numerator of a fraction is. The denominator will affect the outcome greater. Below is a picture of the complete trust equation for you to have. Take a screen shot, or make it a graphic for yourself and keep where you can see it often to remind yourself what trust is affected by.
Have a great week!
Sincerely,
Kevin Sidebottom
“Businesses wonder why the majority of their sales teams struggle at winning profitable business. I teach your sales team to walk with the customer through the five buying decisions, and in the correct order to generate more sales with higher profits!”
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1lWIVasmkFsoYL4h0AqIZgH6LC3qaw_gI/view?usp=sharing – client profile sheet
https://www.amazon.com/Sales-Process-Uncovered-Success-Influence/dp/0578421518 - Book
https://kevinsidebottom.kartra.com/page/5AF12 - Sales Process Uncovered Online Training
https://kevinsidebottom.kartra.com/page/68N10 - Trustworthy Online Training