If You Knew When You Would Die, Would Your Dash Change?

Just like the title asks, what would you do if you knew you only had a limited time left to live. 

Recently someone very close to me was given a diagnosis with a very limited life expectancy and it started my mind into reflection.  What would I do, if I only had a limited time left?  Would I just quit doing this or that, create a bucket list, take up a new hobby, etc.? 

The truth is all of us have a limited time left here on this planet.  A limited number of days to wake up, a limited number of hours to spend with people we enjoy spending time with, and a limited time to live. Time is not something that we can add to or multiply.  We can only subtract and divide. 

When we a head stone in a cemetery, we can see a name, date born, and a date when someone has moved on.  There is this thing in between the dates though.  It’s a dash.  The dash is their life.  The dash is their experiences.  The dash is their impact on this world.  This dash is  significant.

If we are to truly live, we need to make sure we live out the dash.  We need to make sure we take time for the fun stuff and not get super stressed about work.  Work is what we do, but it does not define us.  I do this blog and help people understand the sales process, how it actually helps people build influence, but this is not who I am.

Who I am is a husband, father, son, friend, and someone who steps in to help whenever possible.  Too often people think that their work is who they are.  How many times when asked the  following question, “tell me about yourself”, have we started with our profession to describe ourselves?  We focus on this detail more than the other details of our lives.

Are we mainly defining ourselves because that is what society believes, or do we share that detail because that is what we think we should be defined as?  Why do we lead with that detail?

Why don’t we lead with who we really are?  Do we not really know who we are?  Should we ask others to describe us?  Typically, when we are at funeral services, we get to hear what others think about the person that has passed on, but I think that is a little too late for a reflection like that.

Shouldn’t we be asking what others see about us sooner?  Are we too afraid to ask the question because we are worried about what we might hear?  Are we just not thinking about it, because we don’t want to think about that time when we pass on?

When I am laid to rest, I want that dash to represent a person that loved to help, inspire, and enable people to flip the script for their dash.  If I can do that I will have succeeded at life.

What would you like your dash to represent?

Sincerely,

Kevin Sidebottom

“Businesses wonder why the majority of their sales teams struggle at winning profitable business.  I teach your sales team to walk with the customer through the five buying decisions, and in the correct order to generate more sales with high margins!”

www.kevinsidebottom.com

What’s your Coaching Style?

How are you at coaching your team and your family? 

Are you like a coach on the sidelines constantly sending in orders hoping the team will execute?

Business leaders think being a coach means constantly sending in orders like a coach on the sideline.  The leader believes they should tell the team what to do and how to do everything and then the team will just execute.  The issue is that the employees do not learn to think for themselves.  They constantly come to the leader for the answers for everything essentially slowing down the organization.

This style of coaching does not promote effective thought in individuals and does not allow them to grow.  If there is no growth then the business, team, family will suffer.  

What I learned in 2016 from John Maxwell’s Certification is that coaching is not about telling people what, or how to do everything.  Coaching is instead asking questions for the individual to produce their best answer for the given situation.  It’s encouraging them to look within for their best answer.  Not telling people what and how to do things.

Most of the time in business, we are trying to answer questions and get to solutions fast.  Because of the speed at which business is evolving we keep perpetuating the same cycle.  When we arrive home at the end of the day, we are still dictating what needs to happen, how it needs to happen, and when it needs to happen to our families if we are not careful.  Will that help our families thrive?

We may get things accomplished, but we need to grow others around us so that they can make decisions and still move forward.  If we are not coaching these individuals correctly, we are actually hurting them.  I also am learning to not have people do it the way I would do it.  I need to let go of control and let them do it their way.  By doing so they will grow confidence in themselves and their decisions which will make them more efficient their way.

As coaches, we can not be the sole source of answers.  We need to help cultivate a culture in our organizations of aligning with the core mission and vision, and individual solutions that align with that direction.  We have to give them trust and let them have some bumps and bruises at the beginning.  Yes, it’s slower at first, but speed will pick up speed over time.  We need to guide them and coach them before they are free to make those decisions. 

We need to continually ask those thought provoking questions to help individuals come up with better decisions.  Even if those decisions do not align with what we believe is best at the time, we still need to trust the process to help them grow. Over time we will gain that trust of the individual and their decision-making process.  If not, then we will never be free for family, vacations, and our own growth. 

Ultimately, we will expire and it is on us to grow those around us.  If we expire and we leave those that looked up to us without this essential decision-making process, our legacy will be in jeopardy and they won’t be able to move forward.  How do you think that will benefit them?

Sincerely,

Kevin Sidebottom

“Businesses wonder why the majority of their sales teams struggle at winning profitable business.  I teach your sales team to walk with the customer through the five buying decisions, and in the correct order to generate more sales with high margins!”

www.kevinsidebottom.com

Building Trust With The "R" Word

Today, let’s talk about the second variable in building trust.  It’s Reliability.  How reliable are you?  When you say you’ll do something will you do it?  Will you do it to the best of your ability?  Do you forget to do it?  Will you do the right thing when no one is looking?   Do you think it is that big of a deal to be reliable?

It's a BIG DEAL!!!  Trust is won or lost by your actions, not just your words. 

I remember when I was younger, my father telling me to always do what you say you are going to do.  Do not waiver.  He also stated to do the right thing if everyone is watching and when no one is watching.  Don’t tell me, show me is the slogan I have heard all my life from my father.

I remember when I first met my wife’s parents.  We were up at their cottage grilling steaks and I was assisting my future father-in-law.  I told him that I usually every spring season the grill grates after the first steaks have been cooked by applying foil to the top of the grates and turning the heat up high while I ate and then it would bake in all the flavor.

What I didn’t know is that his grill grates on his expensive grill were actually anodized aluminum and not steel… 

Did you know when you crank up the heat and use foil that reflects the heat back into the grates that are anodized aluminum, they actually can’t take that much heat and melt and then break in half?  Yep, it was an awesome first experience… 

I told him that I would replace them even though my future father-in-law said don’t worry about it.  The next day I was on the phone with the grill manufacturer ordering the new grates.  I was originally going to order just two, but they informed me that they had two different sizes in that grill…. so, I ordered a complete set.  Did you know that anodized aluminum grates cost more than any grill I have ever bought?  Yep that’s right almost $300 for grates.

That weekend was the most expensive steak dinner I have ever had, but by doing the right thing and doing what I said I was going to do our relationship has grown and he has put a great deal of trust in me.  He knows that if I say I will do something that I will get it done. 

When we interact with our teams, customers, family, or friends we need to make it a constant effort to be reliable.  Without being reliable it is almost impossible to have a trusting relationship.  Especially when we are first getting to know others.

Here are a few things I do to make sure I follow through:

List it and do it – As you can see from the picture of this blog, I love to utilize post-it notes for my action items.  I will literally list out something I need to do and stick it to my wallet when I leave so I do not forget what I set out to do.  Some people use an app, but I am low tech.  A side note is that when people cross things off list they feel good and empowered.  If you are someone that keeps forgetting to do things, then maybe making a list and keeping it with you as a reminder might be a good tool.

Action It – I am bombarded with requests regularly and if I set something to the side I tend to forget about it, so I make sure I do it right away if I can.  CEO’s have utilized this method of acting right away of forgetting it.  Emails are a way they sort through action items to either take action right away, or throw it in the recycle bin.

Delegate it – If you are unable to do something and someone else is better equipped to handle the item then delegate it.  John Maxwell has endorsed this idea of delegate to elevate.  My wife and I set up weekly meetings to look at things that need to be done and delegate things that each other can do.  It allows us to work more efficiently, communicate effectively, and flow in our strengths.

L.A.D. are three helpful options that I we can all utilize to make sure we are reliable.

Is there a time that pops in the back of your mind where someone else has fallen short being reliable?  How did it make you feel?  Did you lose a little trust in that person? 

I know I will fall short sometimes, but I make it my best effort to do what I say I am going to do and if I am going to come in short I communicate the situation and try to better the situation to the best of my ability.  We need trust in order to keep moving forward with others.  We need to focus on how we can make sure we are doing what we say we will do and apologize to anyone that we may have fallen short with. 

Being reliable is essential in building trust.

Have a great day!

Sincerely,

Kevin Sidebottom

“Businesses wonder why the majority of their sales teams struggle at winning profitable business.  I teach your sales team to walk with the customer through the five buying decisions, and in the correct order to generate more sales with high margins!”

www.kevinsidebottom.com